Part One of My Travel Adventures
There are certain memories from travelling that stay with you for years, and quite often they're not the ones you'd expect. You might spend an afternoon visiting some famous attraction, take a hundred photographs and then barely remember the experience ten years later. Meanwhile, something as ordinary as sitting in a restaurant having a cup of coffee can remain perfectly clear in your mind.
For me, that cup of coffee was in Mexico, and it was one of the first times I experienced a feeling that I've had many times since. I was sitting in a resort buffet, having something to eat, when it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually in another country. I know that sounds rather obvious, but I've always had this strange relationship with places I've never visited. I know they exist, of course, but until I've physically been there, they somehow don't feel entirely real. It's almost as though these places exist in a different world, one that I've only seen in photographs, movies or television.
Then suddenly I'm sitting there, drinking coffee, watching people going about their day, and realizing that this place has been here all along. People live here, work here, go shopping, argue with their spouses and do all the ordinary things that people do everywhere. It's such a peculiar feeling, and one that I still get whenever I arrive somewhere new.
I suppose that's part of what got me interested in travelling in the first place, although I certainly wasn't one of those adventurous young people who took off around the world with a backpack at eighteen. I was somewhere in my thirties when I started taking the trips that really made an impression on me, and my early adventures were considerably more comfortable than backpacking through remote villages.
They took me to Mexico's Caribbean coast, the Dominican Republic and Barbados. Along the way, there were interesting characters, beautiful beaches, a few rather nice places to stay and one absolutely dreadful resort. There were wonderful experiences, a few disappointments and some family memories that have become more meaningful to me as the years have passed.
Cancun: My Introduction to Gay Life Abroad
One of my first memorable holidays was to Cancun, Mexico, with a friend named Dale, who was a doctor at the time and eventually became a plastic surgeon. Our friendship hasn't exactly aged particularly well, and my opinion of him today is rather different from what it was back then, but that doesn't take away from the fact that we had an interesting trip together.
We stayed somewhere outside the main tourist area of Cancun, and I honestly don't remember doing a great deal of sightseeing. What I do remember, however, is discovering the gay nightlife. At the time, Cancun wasn't necessarily somewhere you could openly express your sexuality on the streets without worrying about how people might react. There was a definite distinction between what happened in public and what went on inside the gay clubs, but those clubs provided a place where people could relax, socialize and enjoy themselves.
Two establishments in particular have stayed in my memory: Karamba and Picante Hot Bar. I remember enjoying the atmosphere and being fascinated by the fact that there was this whole gay community operating within a destination that, on the surface, seemed primarily geared towards conventional resort tourism. I suppose it was an early introduction to something I'd discover repeatedly over the years, which is that gay communities exist in all sorts of places, sometimes quite openly and sometimes a little more discreetly.
I also met a young man while I was there, and we had a rather enjoyable little escapade. I won't go into the details, partly because some things are better left to the imagination, but it's an experience I still remember with considerable affection. It was a lovely holiday encounter that probably wouldn't have happened if I'd stayed home, and perhaps that's part of the appeal of travelling. You never quite know who you're going to meet or what might happen.
Cancun wasn't a particularly adventurous trip in terms of sightseeing, but I enjoyed myself, and it certainly helped develop my interest in visiting other countries.
Playa del Carmen: A Free Holiday, a Cenote and a Cup of Coffee
My next Mexican adventure was with my aunt, who had won two passes to the Grand Bahia Principe resort near Playa del Carmen, on Mexico's Riviera Maya. The prize included flights, accommodation, food and drinks, so it was essentially a free all-inclusive holiday. Naturally, I was more than happy to accompany her.
The resort was quite upscale, certainly by my standards at the time, and I remember being impressed by the grounds, the accommodations and the food. We were sharing a room, which wasn't a problem for me, although my aunt wasn't particularly thrilled when we discovered that we'd been assigned a room on the second floor. As it turned out, the location was actually rather good. We were at the end of a hallway with nobody on one side of us, and the corner suite offered an interesting view.
The beach was a bit of a walk from our room, but that didn't bother me. I spent a great deal of time swimming, which is something I've always enjoyed, and much of the holiday consisted of reading books, eating, drinking and generally doing very little. We also visited a jewellery-making establishment where we learned a little about working with gold, but one of the most memorable experiences was a full-day excursion that took us away from the resort and into a part of Mexico I hadn't expected to see.
The excursion involved a bus ride of approximately three hours, and along the way we stopped in a small village where we had the opportunity to sample handmade chocolates. They were absolutely delicious, and we also enjoyed an authentic Mexican meal, which was a welcome change from the resort buffet. I enjoyed seeing a little of the country beyond the beaches and hotels, particularly because so much of our holiday had been spent within the resort grounds.
Our tour guide was a fellow named Alex, which naturally made his name easy for me to remember. He was extremely entertaining and made the long journey enjoyable. A good tour guide can make an enormous difference to an excursion, especially when you're spending several hours on a bus, and Alex certainly knew how to keep everyone interested.
Eventually, we arrived at the cenote, which was the main attraction of the day. For anyone unfamiliar with cenotes, they're natural pools formed in limestone, often surrounded by rock formations and vegetation, and they're particularly common in Mexico's Yucatán Peninsula. I'd never seen anything quite like it, and I was fascinated by how beautiful it was. The water was incredibly clear, and the whole setting was unlike anything I'd experienced before.
Naturally, I decided to go swimming. The water was cold, considerably colder than the swimming pools back at the resort, but once I was in, I was glad I'd done it. There was something wonderful about swimming in this natural pool, surrounded by rock and the beauty of the place. I hadn't expected anything like it when we'd booked our holiday, and it became one of my favourite memories from Mexico.
There is, however, one part of that excursion that still bothers me to this day, and it has to do with tipping.
At the time, I really didn't understand much about tipping tour guides. I was relatively inexperienced when it came to organized excursions, and I hadn't given much thought to how important tips could be to the people providing these services. My aunt, bless her, has never been particularly enthusiastic about parting with her money, so perhaps she wasn't the ideal person to look to for guidance in that department.
When the excursion ended, we didn't tip Alex nearly as much as I now believe we should have. He'd spent the entire day looking after us, keeping everyone entertained and making sure we had a wonderful experience, and I wish I'd shown my appreciation more generously. It may sound silly, but even after all these years, I occasionally think about him and wish I could go back and hand him a proper tip.
Of course, I can't change what happened, but I did learn something from it. These days, I'm much more conscious of tipping the people who help make my travels enjoyable, whether they're tour guides, waiters, drivers or anyone else providing good service. It's a relatively small gesture that can mean a great deal to the person receiving it, and I try to remember that.
Another memory from this holiday takes me right back to the beginning of my love of travelling. We'd arrived at the resort and gone to one of the buffet areas for something to eat, and I remember sitting there with a cup of coffee, looking around and feeling almost astonished that I was actually in Mexico. Nothing extraordinary was happening, but I was enjoying the simple fact that I'd travelled somewhere different.
I'd seen Mexico in photographs and heard people talk about it, but now I was sitting there experiencing it for myself. It's difficult to explain that feeling, but it was almost as though another part of the world had suddenly become real to me. I had a wonderful time with my aunt, and looking back, I think this was the holiday that really convinced me I wanted to travel more often.
Of course, not every holiday that followed would be quite so enjoyable.
Punta Cana: A Holiday I'd Rather Forget
My next adventure took me to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic, a Caribbean nation that shares the island of Hispaniola with Haiti. Unfortunately, adventure might be a rather generous description of what turned out to be one of the worst holidays I've ever experienced.
I travelled with my family, including my brother, his wife and children, and my mother and stepfather. The idea was to spend some time together somewhere warm, enjoy the beach and have a relaxing family holiday. I had booked my own hotel room, which suited me perfectly, and we were staying at a resort called IFA Bávaro. Unfortunately, almost from the moment we arrived, things began going downhill.
For starters, my hotel room smelled of cigarette smoke. And I don't mean a faint smell that you might notice when you first walk into a room. The smell was everywhere, including my pillow, which made me wonder just how thoroughly the room had been cleaned before I arrived. I'm not particularly demanding when it comes to accommodations, but I do appreciate a clean room and a pillow that doesn't smell like somebody else's ashtray. It wasn't exactly the welcome I'd been hoping for.
The food wasn't much better. Most of the restaurants served meals that ranged from mediocre to downright terrible, and after trying a few different places, we discovered that the most reliable option was a little pizza restaurant near the pool. The pizza was actually quite good, which was fortunate because we ended up eating there more often than anywhere else. You don't generally travel all the way to the Dominican Republic expecting pizza to become the culinary highlight of your holiday, but there we were.
Unfortunately, the biggest problem had nothing to do with my room or the food I was eating. About two days into the holiday, my mother became seriously ill with what appeared to be food poisoning. She was essentially bedridden for most of the trip, and instead of enjoying a family holiday together, we found ourselves constantly worrying about how she was feeling. Near the end of our stay, she became so dehydrated that she needed to be taken to the hospital. We had to arrange and pay for our own taxi to get her there, and from what I remember, the resort offered very little assistance.
What bothers me most when I look back on that holiday is that whenever the rest of us went out for dinner, my mother was left alone in her hotel room. At the time, I suppose we were trying to make the best of a difficult situation, particularly with children along on the trip, but it still makes me feel terrible. Here we'd all travelled to the Caribbean to spend time together, and she spent most of the holiday feeling miserable and missing out on everything. I wish I'd handled that part of the trip differently, and it's something I've thought about more than once over the years.
As if all of that weren't enough, there was another incident that left me shaking my head. One evening, the key to my room stopped working, so I had to make my way to the front desk to have it replaced. My niece, who was probably around twelve at the time, was walking with me when I was approached by a woman on the resort property who appeared to be soliciting customers for sex. I found the situation rather inappropriate, particularly because I had my young niece standing beside me. By that point, I was beginning to wonder what else could possibly go wrong.
Eventually, my parents and the rest of the family returned home, while I remained at the resort for another two days. Strangely enough, those final two days were probably the most relaxing part of the entire holiday. I spent most of my time sitting by the pool, enjoying the sunshine and doing very little. I also continued eating pizza, since I had absolutely no desire to experiment with the other restaurants again.
I should mention that this was many years ago, and I understand the resort may have since changed names or management. I have no idea what it's like today, and for all I know, it may be a completely different experience now. My memories are simply of the resort as I experienced it at the time, and unfortunately, they aren't particularly good ones.
Punta Cana itself may well be a beautiful destination, but that particular holiday certainly didn't show it to me at its best. Between the unpleasant accommodations, disappointing food, my mother's illness and the general lack of assistance we received, it remains one of the worst trips I've ever taken. I suppose every traveller eventually has a holiday they'd rather forget, and this was definitely mine.
Barbados: Beaches, Family Dinners and the Best Mahi-Mahi I've Ever Had
Fortunately, my next Caribbean holiday was a much more pleasant experience. This time, I travelled to Barbados with my mother and stepfather, and it was just the three of us. There were no large family gatherings to coordinate, no complicated itinerary and, thankfully, no disastrous resort experience. It was simply a chance to spend some time together somewhere warm and beautiful, and that was exactly what we did.
Rather than staying at a hotel or an all-inclusive resort, my parents rented a lovely house. It was spacious, comfortable and had everything we needed for a relaxing holiday. We didn't have a swimming pool, but we were only a few steps away from the beach, which was considerably better as far as I was concerned. Barbados has some magnificent beaches, and I spent a great deal of time enjoying the water, the sunshine and the simple pleasure of having absolutely nowhere I needed to be.
We did a little sightseeing while we were there, including a visit to some caves, which I found interesting, but this wasn't a holiday where we were constantly rushing from one attraction to another. Most days were spent relaxing, going to the beach, finding somewhere nice to eat and generally enjoying the island. I remember liking the atmosphere of Barbados, and after my experience in Punta Cana, it was rather refreshing to have a holiday where everything seemed to go smoothly.
One of my favourite experiences was visiting the Oistins Fish Fry, which is well known for its fresh seafood and lively atmosphere. It was there that I had my first taste of mahi-mahi, and I absolutely loved it. I don't remember exactly how it was prepared, but I do remember thinking it was one of the most delicious pieces of fish I'd ever eaten. I've had mahi-mahi several times since then, in different places, but I honestly don't think any of them have been quite as good as that first experience in Barbados. Perhaps it was the freshness of the fish, the way it was cooked or simply the fact that I was enjoying it on a Caribbean island. Whatever the reason, it has stayed in my memory.
But when I think back on Barbados now, one of my favourite memories has nothing to do with the beaches or the restaurants. It's remembering my mother cooking dinner at the house we'd rented. There was something wonderfully comfortable about being away from home but still sitting down together for a meal she'd prepared. We'd spend the day enjoying the beach or exploring a little, and then come back to the house, where we'd sit around the kitchen or dining room table and have dinner together.
It wasn't particularly glamorous or exciting, and perhaps that's why I remember it so fondly. We weren't sitting in an expensive restaurant or attending some special event. We were simply enjoying a family meal in a lovely house on a Caribbean island. At the time, it probably seemed like a perfectly ordinary evening, but looking back, those are the sorts of memories that become increasingly meaningful.
Barbados wasn't a holiday filled with dramatic adventures or extraordinary discoveries. We enjoyed the beaches, ate some wonderful food, visited a few interesting places and spent time together. Sometimes that's all a holiday needs to be. After the unpleasant experience in Punta Cana, it was nice to be reminded that travelling didn't always have to involve something going wrong.
And if nothing else, Barbados gave me two things I'll always remember: some lovely family dinners and the best mahi-mahi I've ever tasted.
Looking Back at Those Early Adventures
When I think about those first trips now, I realize how much they shaped the way I eventually approached travelling. I started out enjoying the comforts of resorts, beaches and all-inclusive holidays, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I still appreciate a beautiful beach, a comfortable place to stay and the opportunity to spend an afternoon doing very little.
But even during those early holidays, I was beginning to discover that the most memorable experiences often happened when I ventured beyond the resort. Swimming in a cenote in Mexico, visiting a small village and tasting handmade chocolate, or discovering the atmosphere of Oistins Fish Fry in Barbados gave me a little glimpse of the places beyond the tourist accommodations.
I also learned that travelling isn't always perfect. Sometimes the accommodations are disappointing, the food is terrible or something happens that completely changes the holiday. Punta Cana certainly taught me that, and although it's not a trip I remember fondly, it's still part of my travel story.
The memory of our tour guide Alex in Mexico has stayed with me for a different reason. I still wish I'd tipped him more generously, but that experience taught me to appreciate the people who work hard to make our holidays enjoyable. It's something I've carried with me on subsequent trips, and I think about it whenever someone goes out of their way to make an experience special.
And then there are the family memories. I remember my aunt and her reluctance to part with money, the excitement of discovering a beautiful cenote, and my mother's unfortunate experience in Punta Cana. But I also remember the quieter moments in Barbados, particularly sitting down to a meal my mother had cooked in the house we'd rented. At the time, it probably didn't seem especially remarkable. We were simply having dinner together, as families do.
Looking back, though, I think those ordinary moments are among the most valuable memories we bring home from travelling. The beaches were beautiful, the food was wonderful and the weather was lovely, but being together was what made that particular holiday special.
Those early adventures in Mexico and the Caribbean were only the beginning. Eventually, I began to feel curious about destinations that offered something beyond sunshine and beaches. I wanted to explore historic cities, walk through unfamiliar neighbourhoods, visit museums and see places I'd spent years looking at in photographs and on television.
I didn't know it yet, but my next major trip would take me across Europe with a friend named Andrea. It would introduce me to Germany, Italy, France and England, provide a few unexpected adventures and teach me something rather important about travelling with other people.
Most significantly, it would give me my first real taste of exploring a foreign city on my own.
But that's a story for Part Two.